


The Book

by PaddieCake



Series: Cold and Cruel, Self-Absorbed and Narcissistic [6]
Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Fluff and Angst, Gen, I stared at it too long, I'm using that tag just in case, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Implied/Referenced Mind Control, Implied/Referenced Prostitution, Temporary Mutiny, angst dosen't look like a word anymore, mild slut shaming, more angst though
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-17
Updated: 2020-09-19
Packaged: 2021-03-07 23:48:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,478
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26516218
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PaddieCake/pseuds/PaddieCake
Summary: Klaus, Allison, and Ben (and Patrick) read Extra-Ordinary: My Life as Number Seven.
Relationships: Allison Hargreeves & Klaus Hargreeves, Allison Hargreeves/Patrick, Ben Hargreeves & Klaus Hargreeves, Klaus Hargreeves & Patrick
Series: Cold and Cruel, Self-Absorbed and Narcissistic [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1797274
Comments: 54
Kudos: 184





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> I'm posting the first chapter now because it's been like a whole week, and I feel bad, but I'm still working on this part because it got way out of control xD.
> 
> This wasn't going to have chapters.
> 
> It has chapters, but it'll more closely resemble Young, Fun, and Carefree, or Pretty, Young, and Bored, so each chapter won't just be Allison or Klaus, it'll be snippets from both, so each chapter is going to be named. It just didn't make sense to make them separate fics, but I needed to separate them to visualize and write it better.
> 
> Also maybe other characters, I dunno, you'll find out.  
> \--  
> \--

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I will edit tags as I post each chapter :3.

After the wedding, and after getting back from the honeymoon, things went back to normal, though very busy. Allison dove right back into acting, the contract having gone through for _Love on Loan 2_ , official title still pending, and she was already working on getting back into character. She had received some sort of wedding gift, she supposed, from Vanya, a book she wrote. 

Or maybe it was just coincidence. 

It was a point of contention, neither of them knew what to make of it. It seemed to be an autobiography, but if Allison was frank, she didn't really know what Vanya had to write about. 

Klaus seemed to figure if she was just going to bitch about dad the entire time he was fine with it. He did keep picking it up and fiddling with it whenever he got near the thing, driving Allison mad.

Allison was pretty sure he was just upset he didn’t get his own copy.

He was already angry Vanya even had the time to write the thing. Honestly, Allison didn't feel much better about it. It really bothered her that Vanya could write an entire novel, but not take a few days to come to her wedding. But she tried to push it aside. 

Writing a novel was an accomplishment, she as happy for her.

So Allison pointed out that Vanya didn’t really have a way of knowing Klaus' address, even if it was technically the same exact as hers, so Klaus would stop freaking out about it.

It didn't work but at least the conversation was distracting Allison from going insane as she kept focusing on the ticking of the timer.

“Just take that one, I’ll buy another copy.” She said, from the bathroom. She’d been feeling nauseous for the last few days, but what really sold her was that she realized she was about a week late with her period. 

Klaus was sititng against the bathroom door, leaning his head back. “Nah, I’ll buy it, it’s fine. Just figures, you know?” he said. “At least I’ll be able to read it on the plane ride to Canada.” he said. "Heard it was getting quite popular…"

Allison paced around the bathroom as she waited. “Uh-huh.” Allison held her breath as the timer went off. “Klaus, come in, I can’t look.” 

“It’s positive.” Klaus said, and Allison's head snapped up to look at Klaus, showing her the little plus sign on the pregnancy test.

Allison couldn't hide her excitement. It was something she and Patrick had talked about, they both wanted a child, maybe two. They both wanted kids, even Allison despite her reservations, but she hadn't expected it to happen so soon after their marriage.

“Holy shit. Holy shit, what do I do?” Allison asked, grabbing the front of Klaus’ shirt.

“Uh, call Patrick? And maybe a doctor…” Klaus was obviously trying not to freak out.

“I should wait until he gets home, I think.” Allison said, nodding slowly, not letting go of Klaus. His presence was calming, and she really needed that right now. “Like… how messed up would it be if I called him and just blurted out that I might be pregnant.” She said.

“Right, right…” He agreed, putting his hands on his head, looking around the bathroom as if he was going to find an answer to whatever questions were running through his head.

“Please he excited with me, I'm freaking ou-"

Klaus had swooped her into a hug, and Allison broke out into excited giggles mixed with happy crying.

“I’m going to be an uncle!” He sang, rocking her. 

"I'm going to be a _mom!_ " She only hoped she could be even a little like Grace.

Klaus was literally and figuratively floating for most of the day, and Allison would have found it more amusing if the swaying motions didn't make her nauseous.

"Uh… did something happen?" Patrick asked as he finally came home.

  
  


Klaus bounced excitedly in the seat Allison rumored him into sitting in. She asked for permission at least.

After she'd already done it.

It was that or puking, she was justified. 

"Say the thing!" Klaus said.

"I will, just stop! You're making me anxious." She said, glaring at Klaus, though there wasn't any heat behind it. 

Patrick frowned, placing a hand on Allison's shoulder "Is everything ok?" 

Klaus was vibrating with excitement. 

"I took a test, but I made an appointment with the doctor… But I think I'm pregnant. And I know it's sooner than we thought, but-" 

Patrick cut her rambling off by rushing to her, and sweeping her into a passionate kiss. "How long have you known?"

"I suspected for a few days now, but I just took the test today, but I wanted to wait for you to get back so we can make a proper doctor's appointment together!" 

Patrick folded her into another hug.

"Let me up, I want hugs." Klaus said. Allison undid the rumor and was immediately engulfed in a bone crushing hug.

\--

\--

Klaus was careful walking down the street to the nearest bookstore. He had no idea what was written in it, because both Allison and Klaus astutely ignored everyone talking about it until they read it.

People wanted official statements from Allison, and Klaus was getting dragged into it, but neither wanted to even consider talking about it until they read the thing. Luckily for Klaus he'd be out of the country for the next few months, and he hoped the whole thing would blow over before he had to talk about it.

Sucks to be Allison, though.

He was wearing dark sunglasses and a lavender hoodie to hide his hair and face as he walked into the bookstore. Right in front sat the image of his sister, aged fourteen, smirking back at him, somehow looking smug and sad all at once.

"I want to read it so badly, please just buy it, Klaus." 

Klaus shushed him, but he did go up to purchase the book, even got in some light flirting with the very cute cashier, who was very excited to talk about the book they were currently reading, though admittedly Klaus was more distracted by their flippy hair.

"Open it, I want to see what she says it's about." Ben said, flapping his hand uselessly through Klaus.

"Let me enjoy getting a cute date, asshole."

"You're leaving tomorrow, and you didn't even get a phone number."

Klaus flipped Ben off before flipping it to the blurb on the inner cover. 

_'We all wanted to be loved by a man incapable of giving love. My father never missed an opportunity to remind me I was ordinary, a hard thing for a little girl to hear. If you're raised to believe that nothing about you is special, if the benchmark is extraordinary, what do you do if you're not?'_

Klaus and Ben looked at each other. Klaus sighed, picking at the cover as Klaus floated home. "Well we all know dad's an asshole." He said, not realizing Vanya had ever felt that way, but he supposed it was natural, and it would explain some things, he supposed, about why she was so reserved, even resentful towards them. 

Klaus knew what it was like to be dad's least favorite, after all.

He was already packed for his trip, putting his copy of _Extra-Ordinary_ in his carry-on bag.

He'd sent his team up, alongside Sasha, a few days ahead of him so they could get settled and have fun, they'd be starting work two days after Klaus arrived.

As he boarded the plane, he watched as a dozen or so pairs of Vanya's eyes stared back at him from the other passenger's seats.

Klaus sat down, doing his best to hide himself in his seat. Once the plane took off he took his book out of the bag, he removed the dust jacket and opened the book to the first page.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tentatively three chapters, I feel like it MAY end up as four, but I think three should be good.


	2. Reaction

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I finished this one earlier than I thought, the next chapter may be up tomorrow, but shouldn't take longer than a day or two.

He had breezed through the introduction. The way she wrote kind of reminded him of group therapy. He didn’t mean it negatively either, judging by the things she was saying Klaus could understand the desire to air out her grievances to an audience who could communicate back to her. The introduction was just an expansion on the blurb on the dust jacket, going a bit deeper into how dad had royally fucked them up. He approved so far, at the very least. 

But the next chapter, titled _Number One_ , made it pretty clear to Klaus that each subsequent chapter would be about _them_ . Maybe it was about how she thought dad treated them, maybe how she felt _they_ had treated _her_. He didn't really know what she'd have to say, she admitted that she was ordinary, she didn't have to go through what the rest of them did, so he didn't really understand what she thought she needed to say.

"Just read it properly, because you'll just read yours, and I want to know what she has to say about the rest of us." Ben said, knowing Klaus was planning to just skip to the chapter about himself. 

Klaus sighed "Fine, fine." He said, playing with the corner of the page.

As he started on Luther's chapter, though, he realized it was just an excuse to throw them _all_ under the bus. She was outright insulting them, berating them, really, all under the guise of Reginald's cruelty.

\--

\--

Allison scoffed, so far, in the first chapter, the only thing Allison thought Vanya got right was about the constant disagreements between Luther and Diego, but they still _usually_ managed to work together just fine. 

She snuggled closer to Patrick, who had been reading over her shoulder. Sure, their father was an abusive asshole, and she really only noticed how bad it was after spending so much time with Klaus, but Allison couldn't help but feel hurt at how she seemed to have no qualms attacking her _siblings_. Allison knew they weren't very close, didn't really get along, but it hurt to be attacked this way.

\--

\--

  
  


_Spaceboy, or as we knew him Luther, was the leader of The Umbrella Academy, as decided by his number, and by our father._

_Number One's arrogance was a constant strain on his relationship with our siblings, particularly Diego. It was at a young age when we realized Luther cared more about playing hero than almost everything else, it was second only to pleasing father. It was certainly more important to him than being a good sibling._

_He spent more time weight lifting than playing with any of our other siblings, there really was no hope for me. Even when we were the last two left in our father's house he still preferred the company of his dumbells to his own sister._

_\--_

_Diego was the loudest with his hatred for dad, although our father wasn't very kind to him. He would come back from training scared and angry most of the time, sometimes covered in cuts from his own knives. He sought out independence at an early age, and he was the first to leave us willingly._

_He can bend the movement of things with his mind, so he spent hours with father honing his abilities. His weapon of choice was always knives, and one can imagine how scary a volatile, angry boy with constant access to sharp weapons can be._

_\--_

_Allison Hargreeves was, and is, the pretty one, although our brother Klaus might argue that case. She always got what she wanted it, when she wanted it. Her powers are that of deception. She can make lies come true, and turn truth into lies. It made perfect sense that she would become an actress._

_I don't think The Rumor has ever had to work for anything she has, the only thing that truly surprises me is that she couldn't use her powers to get the same award bestowed upon our layabout brother. She undoubtedly used them to get her husband to marry her._

_\--_

_The Séance was a loud, but happy child, and as he grew into his teens he remained loud, but grew mean. He never hid his displeasure for me, I think it's safe to say that he hated me. I'll never know why. I never hated him._

_Father seemed to like him best, Klaus had the most training out of all of my siblings. He'd be gone for hours, undoubtedly talking to ghosts. I always felt as if he preferred their company to that of the living, at least until he started using drugs, so important he was willing to sell himself to get them._

_I remember seeing him, loose limbed and smiling wide, exclaim excitedly that if he was high he didn't have his powers, and knowing he was lost. Even our father gave up on him eventually._

_Whatever fame he has now can probably be attributed to whatever fondness our sister holds for him. I don't see how the gratuitous gore Klaus calls art could ever be worthy of awards._

_\--_

_Five disappeared when we were thirteen. He never picked a name for himself, and so I have nothing to call him by except 'brother'._

_He was the only sibling to truly give me the time of day, arrogant as he was. We would often sit and read together, sometimes he'd sit and listen to me play, other times I'd let him talk to me about math. I never understood it, but I was just happy to be included._

_Wherever he is, I hope he's safe._

_Personally I think he's lucky to have made it out before our family completely turned on each other._

_\--_

_Ben was easily the kindest of all my siblings, despite holding Eldritch horrors in his body. Despite his kindness he was desperate to please both our father and Luther, and it often left him tired, sad, even. It's hard to be upset with someone as sweet as Ben was, and I can say he at least tried to be my friend._

_I have never blamed my siblings for Ben's death, however he_ **_did_ ** _die. It was undoubtedly a combination of his desire to make our father proud, and the constant showboating of my siblings during missions, everyone trying to show off for a man who would never be pleased, that led to his ultimate demise._

_\--_

_\--_

"I can't believe she wrote that!" Ben hissed, settled in their hotel room and halfway through the damned book. He wished he could do more to comfort Klaus, who looked sad, pale. "You _know_ I never blamed you guys for what happened…"

-

Klaus shushed Ben, hands shaking as he turned to the next page. His whole body was shaking, blankets wrapped tight around him as he tried to stave off the cold. 

The room he was in was getting smaller, and louder with each word. 

  
  


\--

\--

_New Insight into the Lives (and Death) of Teen Superhero Group._

_\--_

_Did Allison Hargreeves_ **_Really_ ** _Force Patrick Baker to Marry Her?_

_\--_

_Klaus Hargreeves' Salacious Past Revealed: From Whore to Horror._

_\--_

_Is Ben Hargreeves_ **_Really_ ** _Dead; Possible Sighting with Photos!_

_\--_

_Will The Hargreeves-Baker Marriage Last?_

\--

\--

Julian stared at the magazine, proclaiming that Klaus was on drugs, promising a story about how he tried to sleep with a director to get work on a movie.

The picture was old, taken before Julian ever met him, before he was sober. He looked young and old all at once, his hand, _Goodbye_ doing a terrible job of hiding his face from the flashing cameras. He was clearly leaving some kind of club, and judging by the way he was leaning definitely on something. 

While Klaus never told him about _how_ he would get his drugs, he had known about them. It would have been obvious, just with the way he twitched sometimes, or scratched at his arms, or looked longingly at a bottle on occasion. 

Julian left the magazine where it was, promising himself to call Allison to get Klaus’ hotel’s phone number. The least he could do was make sure he was doing well.

\--

\--

  
  
  


Allison was curled up into a tight ball, and not even Patrick's gentle humming, or his rubbing her back, made her feel better. She tried to ignore the idiotic articles found in the _Enquirer_ , but she couldn't even leave her home without being surrounded by paparazzi, and she was having trouble getting into contact with Klaus so Patrick was her only solace at the moment.

"How could you still want to be with me?" She asked, face pressed into his chest, shirt soaked through with tears. 

"Because I know it's all bullshit. And I love you, and trust you."

"What if I did rumor you?" Allison asked, chewing on her lower lip. Patrick stiffened a bit, but didn't stop trying to console her. "I did, to get you to buy a house with me."

"Is that the only time?"

"Also so you couldn't talk about our powers with people who didn't already know."

"That's practical… Anything else?"

Allison sniffed, clutching tightly to Patrick's shirt. "You never replaced the toilet paper when you finished a roll."

Patrick laughed, pressing a kiss to the top of Allison's head, very much to her confusion. "Well, I'm not happy about the house thing for _sure_. And I am angry about the rest of it, I am, but if that's all you've done? And you're this upset about it? I can forgive you for it."

"I haven't done it since that fire." Allison admitted in a rush, she couldn't lose Patrick, not now. 

"Alright, alright. Well then we'll get past this no problem." He said, smiling down at her. 

\--

\--

Patrick wanted to be angry at finding out that Allison had used her powers on him. He’d trusted her this entire time, and to learn that she had _violated_ him in such a way shook him to the core. He had no way of truly _knowing_ that she hadn’t controlled him into loving her, or into marriage, or into wanting children, though he was certain he had always hoped for them. 

He wanted to argue with her, to get angry. He wanted to storm out and say he was leaving.

But he could see how apologetic she was, how hurt. She was constantly on the edge of tears, and she was so afraid to even look at him Patrick couldn’t muster up enough anger to so much as tell her he was upset. He could see it in the way she was holding herself, small and shy in a way she never was, and the way she hesitated to come near him unless he motioned for her, that she felt _awful_ about it. 

So he let his anger go, knowing, or at least hoping she was being honest, and told her that he wouldn’t leave her, that he _wasn’t_ angry. And he meant it, promising to her, anad himself, that he wouldn’t hold this over their relationship, that he didn’t want to be stuck on something that had already happened. 

Now all he had to do was convince Allison he meant it.

\--

\--

  
  


"We appreciate your situation, but in light of recent information we don't think you're a good fit for our film." 

Klaus was stunned, he was still so worked up from just reading the book, but then to hear that this _asshole_ wouldn't work with him because of it?

"That's three months of work you're losing my _team_."

"And we'll pay a cancellation fee, we just don't want your… past associated with our work."

Klaus was being a _saint_ , because he very badly wanted to bash this guy's face in with a fucking _rock_. He could do it with his own face, but he didn’t want to be covered in scum.

"What a dickheel." Ben said as they made their way back to the hotel. Klaus would ask his team what they wanted to do, he assumed they would want to go back home, hopefully Klaus' reputation wasn't so destroyed that _no one_ would want to work with him.

Though when he got back the concierge had five messages telling him that a some of his employees were putting in their two weeks notice. 

Smart of them to do it while he wasn't even there.

His employees met him in the hotel's restaurant, where they got a meal and drinks, discussing whether they wanted to go home or not.

They did, so Klaus got them all tickets for a flight at the end of the week.

Klaus decided to stay longer. He wasn't ready to go home yet.

\--

\--

Allison jumped up off the couch as her phone rang. Julian had called the other day, asking for Klaus. She hadn’t gotten into contact with her brother at all in weeks, and she was worried. She _really_ hoped it was Klaus, or at least Julian saying he spoke to him. It wasn’t like Klaus to ignore her so thoroughly, but she _really_ hoped nothing happened to him.

It was probably some reporter. 

"Hello?"

"Klaus there?"

“Diego?” He wasn’t even on her radar of people who would be calling. "No, he's working, but I haven't heard from him at all in almost a month."

"Yeah, no, he's having a complete meltdown on his internet thing, thought you could check up on him." Diego said, then hung up before Allison could ask for clarification. 

Klaus would be happy to know Diego watched his videos, though.

"Patrick, can you boot up the computer?" Allison asked, wishing she could have a drink right now. She settled for chocolate milk.

Allison knew Klaus really hadn't planned on filming anything while working on the movie, said he was more interested in exploring the 'wiles of Canada', which Allison _knew_ meant he planned on finding obscure museums because he'd been looking some up, but he might have packed some of his equipment.

She pulled up Klaus' page, the newest video's thumbnail was clearly in a hotel room. It was poorly lit, and Klaus, looking exhausted and unkempt, was holding up Vanya's book and smiling sarcastically in it.

\--

\--

**Klaus sighs, smiling wide. It doesn't reach his eyes.**

**"So, I know I made it** **_pretty_ ** **obvious that I never** **_ever_ ** **wanted to talk about my time as 'The Séance', but my asshole sister decided to do it for me, and I would, personally, like to combat some of this absolute** **_shit_ ** **she wrote."**

**Klaus dramatically flips to a chapter. "Now, spoiler alert, we're all assholes, but we** **_are_ ** **our father's children. That is the one thing she got right. Reginald Hargreeves is a raging dick, who’d have known.”**

**Klaus laughs at something. “It** **_is_ ** **an insult to dicks.”**

**Klaus runs his finger through a page, and flips through a few more before finding what he’s looking for.**

**“ We weren't supposed to talk about personal training with each other, and I don't want to be a** **_humongous_ ** **bitch and tell you guys things I do know, because we’re all trained in combat and I don’t want to get murdered. So we’ll just talk about me, my second favorite subject!" Klaus says excitedly, taking a sip of some drink, the label obscured by his hand.**

**“My first is the dicks, or genitalia in general. Fun stuff.” He lets out a hysterical giggle, and hushes something behind him, off screen.**

**He shows the chapter named after him to the screen and takes a deep breath.**

**"Vanya says I was dad's favorite, which is… laughable. I can literally count on one hand the nice things Reggie has ever said to or about me, and they're all in regards to me being unable to talk due to a wired jaw. Heels plus stairs, twelve year old me was not ready. I blame Allison, really. We’re the same shoe size but she wasn’t allowed heels until she was fifteen.” Klaus sighs dramatically, taking another long sip. “If any one of us was dad's favorite it would be Vanya… or Luther, I guess, but even he had** ** _training_** **, so. I mean what do you call the child who got to do whatever they wanted, whenever they wanted, without** ** _any_** **repercussions? We had a half** ** _fucking_** **_hour_** **a** ** _week_** **for recreational activities. It's not our fucking fault the only thing Vanya enjoyed was her violin."**

**Klaus scoffs at something off screen. “Stop defending her.”**

**Klaus drinks from his bottle, a flash of the name** **_Jack_ ** **can be seen.**

**"Seriously, as long as she wasn't in class she could just go off and play** **_Twinkle Twinkle Little Star_ ** **to her heart's content. Sorry I was too busy being** **_tortured_ ** **to sit and listen to your crappy music. I mean I already had to deal with screeching, didn't need to add yours to the noise." Klaus laughs bitterly. His jaw ticks, and he looks worried about something, or upset.**

**Silence.**

**"Oh shut up, she shouldn't have written the damned thing." Klaus mutters to thin air. "No, no, she made her bed she can fucking lie in it. It's basically self defense." He says. He leans over to do or get something**

**"What? Oh, fine. Ben would like to officially state that he doesn't blame us for him dying. So… you know, people can stop saying that."**

**"Also anyone who thinks they've 'seen' him, I hope you see all the other ghosts too, fucking vultures." Klaus let's out a whine as he realizes his bottle is empty.**

**He gets up and moves off screen. There’s rustling, something that sounds like snuffling, and Klaus is back on screen, scrunching and un-scrunching his face.**

**"Oh, yeah, ghosts** **_suck_ ** **. Like, you've seen my work, imagine that, but they** **_scream_ ** **constantly, all the time. I mean some of them are cool sometimes, Ben's neat, glad he hasn't gone insane yet, was really worried about that you know? Fuck, I hope he doesn't become like mausoleum ghosts." Klaus says the last part softly, placing his head in his hands.**

**He raises his head, and begins to move his hands as he begins speaking again. "But, I mean, ghosts** **_suck_ ** **, I** **_hate_ ** **them. I've been surrounded by them since I was a baby, and I've never not been pants shittingly** **_terrified_ ** **of them." Klaus is nearly hysterical, and almost smacks himself in the face.**

**He glares at something off screen before continuing.**

**"I mean how do you** **_react_ ** **when you're constantly followed around by corpses? Christ. Like** **_obviously_ ** **I started using drugs. Hello," Klaus waves the appropriate hand "maybe, I was 'blessed' with the ability to be followed around by screaming dead people! What do people even think ghosts** **_are_ ** **?" Klaus grabs a tissue and blows his nose.**

**"Shit I'm going to have to find a computer to upload this to."**

**Klaus fumbles with the camera, letting out another breathy laugh. "Everytime I blink I see centipedes."**

**The screen goes black.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, Klaus relapsed, Allison is in a constant state of panic, and Patrick is trying very hard to be as understanding as he can despite finding out his wife mind-controlled him.


	3. Aftermath

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The fallout of Vanya's book.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Phew! 
> 
> Whatever schedule I originally had planned is completely out the window now, everything is chaos xD
> 
> At least I managed to keep this in three chapters! 
> 
> Didn't expect to end up writing like.. half of this in other character POVs, but it was super fun, so.

Patrick had barely managed to sneak out of his home, the mass of reporters was so insane. He had to go out the back, and even then Allison had to use her powers on hidden paparazzi. 

All Patrick wanted to do was get groceries. But people seemed to want an official statement of some kind, or just to see if they can get any information on them.

So far they were all reaching for maybes and what-ifs, but Allison would have to say something eventually.

It still made Patrick uneasy, Allison using her powers, but he tried not to show it, she didn't need to think he was afraid of her, especially since she had used them solely to make sure he could get outside without issue.

Patrick was lucky he was only well known amongst the general public for being with Allison, so it was a bit easier to conceal his identity when he was away from the mass of cameras. 

He also drove several hours to go to a grocery store he had never been to before. 

Some of the crowd had thinned out by the time he got back, but he was more distracted by seeing Klaus’ house. Everyone assumed he was still in Canada, despite no one being able to contact him, so his house was mostly left alone.

But the lights were on, and there was a general air of something being off.

He put his groceries down and walked over, thankful the group of paparazzi that had been hanging out in the back were gone.

Klaus’ door was open slightly, and he could hear movement coming from inside. 

Patrick took a deep breath and pushed it open. 

"Fucking _bitch_." And Patrick recognized that as Klaus' voice, slurred as it was.

Patrick knew that Klaus had to have been spiraling for weeks, but to know he was _home_ was so comforting he didn’t even care. He almost raced over to give him a hug, but the sound of crunching distracted him.

When he entered the house there was broken glass and loose paper everywhere. Klaus looked manic, hair disheveled, clothes fitting poorly, wrinkled from overuse. 

"Oh, Klaus…” 

Klaus turned around, face bruised and eyes like pin pricks as they stared wildly back at him.

"Patrick! Hello brother, welcome home!" Klaus said, tripping over himself to give Patrick a hug, and he was silently thankful Klaus was wearing shoes. Patrick returned it, running a hand through Klaus’ hair, fingers getting caught in knots.

"Hey buddy, you ok?" He asked, trying to get a better look at Klaus’ face.

“Fine, fine.” He agreed, nodding his head far longer than normal.

“When did you get back?”

“Yesterday, Canada kicked me out. They don’t like me anymore. But we’re still friends, right?” Klaus asked, gripping Patrick’s shoulders.

“Of course, we’re brothers now.” he assured him, and he felt Klaus relax a bit. “Why don’t we sit down, ok?” Patrick _had_ heard something about Klaus getting arrested, but he just thought it was more tabloid bullshit trying to cash in on Vanya’s book. 

“No, no we should go _do_ something! Like… oh! There’s that club, the one with the palm trees outside?” Klaus was trying to drag Patrick out of the house.

“Why don’t you shower first, and change into some different clothes.” Patrick suggested. Klaus reeked of alcohol and sweat, and it was obvious he hadn’t been taking care of himself. He felt unhealthily skinny.

“Good idea, gotta look nice!” He said, “But no cheating on Allison, I’ll beat you up!” Klaus warned, glaring at Patrick. 

Patrick sighed, rummaging through the mess that was Klaus’ room for something comfortable for him to wear, before putting on a kettle for tea.

He didn’t hear the window open, but the sound of what was a body falling _out_ of one was unmistakable. 

Patrick closed his eyes and tried to find Klaus, but all that was there was fallen and dented garbage cans.

\--

\--

“Klaus, I told you to _stay_. Patrick wanted to hang out with you.”

“No, no, he was going to try and _help_ me. But I’m fine, I don’t need help!”Klaus said cackling. He was barely managing to float, his toes skimming the concrete. He needed to bend his knees to even get his body to cooperate enough _to_ float.

And he had taken off his shoes, meaning Klaus would inevitably end up with cut up feet.

At least he was wearing pants, though he had taken his shirt off in serious consideration of the shower.

  
  


Ben wished he could do more than sit there and watch, but he had only managed to help stave off the relapse a few days before he fell off the wagon completely. 

At least he managed to convince Klaus not to get ‘Fuck You’ tattooed on each of his middle fingers.

He did not manage to convince him not to get the word ‘no’ tattooed to his left one, however. 

The first time Klaus had used it it got him punched in the face, and the fight led to him getting arrested and sent back to the United States. 

Small mercies.

Ben was really glad to be back in the same country that housed people who could actually help Klaus.

Klaus stumbled, landing flat on his ass. 

If Ben could get him to sit still long enough at least. 

Klaus hasn't slept properly in days and Ben was tired from just _watching_ him run around on nothing but cheap alcohol and coke.

"Get up, Klaus, people are starting to gather." Ben said, and that got Klaus to stand up and stumble forward. 

Maybe he could steer Klaus in a direction that was more beneficial to him.

But not in the way Klaus _wanted_ it to be.

Ben watched as Klaus started in the exact opposite direction, and Ben knew it would take a lot of convincing to get him somewhere helpful.

\--

\--

Maddison Cartwright was a lot of things. She was six-feet tall, had black hair she kept in braids, and was a damn good makeup artist. She was the child of two loving parents who were very proud of her work, even if they didn't understand why she liked making people look dead. She thought she was pretty nice, and she was interested in getting her nose pierced.

Most importantly she was trying very hard not completely freak the fuck out because she couldn't get into contact with her asshole of a boss. 

Well, he wasn't _usually_ an asshole, Maddie honestly loved working with Klaus and all of her coworkers, but Klaus had sent them home from a three month long project three months early, and then dropped off the face of the Earth.

Maddie was _expecting_ to jump onto another project, but Klaus had gone completely MIA, and there were about fifty employees looking to her for guidance since she was there the longest, and she _was_ officially the second highest position in the company, but she still felt incredibly put out by this.

She was just glad that for the last month and a half everyone else had projects to work on, too far in to drop out.

Sasha, Klaus' assistant, and the one who often acted as the bridge between Klaus' work and home life, was angrily dialing phone numbers for any trace of the guy.

They'd lost five employees, and the only reason she could figure was because of that book going around. Maddie read it, she couldn't say she was surprised by some of it, she was pretty sure he'd gone into rehab a couple of years ago after all. Sasha hadn't said a word, but the plastic rehab bracelet did.

The book was probably a shitty read if you were mentioned in it, but Klaus had left them high and dry, and she was pissed at having to deal with organizing everyone so suddenly.

Maddie _liked_ Klaus, he was easy going and really good at making you laugh. She just really wished he'd get his skinny ass back here, so she could beat some sense into him. Everyone was confused, and Maddie was struggling to log into his work email to see if she could set up appointments for them while he was gone.

"Apparently Klaus is somewhere in L.A., but no one can keep track of him." Sasha said, hanging up the phone. 

Maddie sighed, heading into their warehouse to gather everyone. 

"So where's Klaus?" Benji asked.

"He's not going to be here for a short, but indefinite amount of time, so I'm in charge now, bitches." She said, channeling her inner Klaus.

Sasha snorted "This will be good." She said, following Maddie back into the office.

"What's his email password?" Maddie asked Sasha, now that she wasn't making phone calls.

"'Assword69'." Sasha said without missing a beat.

Maddie _really_ should have known that.

\--

\--

Allison was heartbroken to see that Klaus had relapsed. That he'd been back in California for a week already and she couldn't even see him because he just up and _left_ was worse.

She should have known he would spiral like this, and she felt awful she didn't try to reach out to him sooner.

"Still no luck finding him." Patrick said, getting off the phone with Klaus' assistant.

Allison cradled her belly, though she wasn't showing yet, and curled up on the couch. "He hasn't been this bad since we were teenagers, and even then he'd never really be gone for more than a couple of days. He could be anywhere right now." Allison said, rubbing at her face. 

Patrick sat down next to her and put an arm around her tightly. "People are looking for him, and there's paparazzi trying to get news on anything related to you guys, we're bound to find him somehow." He said.

"What if he gets arrested? What if he's _dead?_ "

"He's not dead. We'd know… I know we can't do much right now, but he'll be ok. You need to focus on yourself right now, sweetheart." Patrick said, placing his hand over hers. 

Allison still couldn't help but feel like this was her fault. But then again she had been feeling consistent, overwhelming guilt since she finished Vanya's book. She wished she could focus on something, but with filming halted temoparily Allison didn't really have anything to focus on.

Patrick put the television run, trying to find something to keep her attention when the phone rang.

Allison went to get up but Patrick motioned for her to stay seated and answered the phone.

\--

\--

  
  


Julian was sitting on the couch, curled up with his boyfriend, Devon, when he heard a knock on the door. 

"Were you expecting someone?"

"No, but let me check anyway." Julian said, kissing the top of Dev's head before getting up. 

He barely caught sight of who it was, but suddenly they were pressed into him. Significantly skinnier than Julian remembered him to be, Klaus' body was familiar enough to him to recognize who it was.

"I was thinking we should get back together. I mean I was in the neighborhood, and we like each other, and, oh, hello. Well I guess I don't sharing."

Julian didn't have time to catch up. Klaus had pushed away from the hug, waved at Devon, undoubtedly throwing him a wink, and tossing in a poor attempt at a threesome. 

None of those things pointed to Klaus' lack of sobriety, but the way he was stumbling around half dressed was a dead giveaway. 

And then suddenly it hit him that Klaus was _here_ , and the immense relief he felt nearly knocked him backwards. 

Klaus immediately headed towards the kitchen, emptying his pockets. There were handfuls of small sandwich bags being piled onto his counter. Julian didn't know if he was thankful or horrified that they were all empty.

"Uh… Who's your friend?" Devon asked, tugging on his shirt gently.

"Sorry. I.. We've been trying to find him for awhile and I want to keep him here. Can you go to my room and call someone for me? In my phonebook, just look for 'Allison'. I'll explain later, I promise."

Devon looked to Klaus, face twisted in worry as he watched the man excitedly pull out a bottle of wine, lifting it up victoriously at Julian.

Julian gave him a smile. "Just tell whoever answers that Klaus is here."

Some sort of recognition reached Devon's eyes "Wait, holy shit…"

"Please don't say anything. _Please_. I'm trying to help him and mentioning... anything is only going to make it worse."

Devon looked put out but went to make the phone call anyway. 

"Come drink with me!" Klaus said, motioning for Julian to come over. Wait where did your friend go." Klaus asked, pouting, holding up three glasses. "That's ok, Ben can have this one." 

"He just went to do something for me. I don't want anything though so Devon can have mine." Julian said motioning for Klaus to sit on the couch. 

He didn't sit so much as bonelessly flop onto it. The hems of his pants were frayed and dirty, and his feet weren't much better from what he could gather. What was worse was the yellowing bruises on his face and the split lip he was sporting. 

He was glad he didn't see any other blood, which he was thankful for. 

"So, are you two _dating_ ? Don't worry, I know we're not together, it's _fine_. But I do miss you." Klaus said.

"We are dating, only very recently, though. And if you missed me so much you should have visited sooner, we could have gotten lunch."

"Only as friends though." Klaus said, as if he hadn't been the one to suggest getting back together moments of go. 

"Of course." Julian agreed. 

Klaus finished his drink and leaned back on the couch. "You don't have any coke right? Or ecstacy, that's good too." Klaus said, voice sounding tired. 

"Sorry, I don't. I'm glad you showed up, I was worried I hadn't heard from you."

Klaus shook his head. "Nah, you don't… I'm… blah." 

Julian couldn't figure out what Klaus was trying to say, but he was very clearly upset. 

"No, you're one of my best friends, I love seeing you."

Klaus wiped at his eyes, and mumbled something that vaguely sounded like 'at least someone does'. 

"I uh… they want to know when." Devon said, obviously trying not to make it obvious to Klaus what was happening.

"Tomorrow afternoon is fine."

Devon left again and Klaus sighed heavily "If you have a meeting in the morning I can just go now, it's fine." 

Julian took Klaus' arm, "No, nothing like that. You know I'd kick you out myself if it was important." He tried to keep his tone light, making it clear he was joking, and letting Klaus know he was wanted here, and now. 

Klaus smiled at him so he took it as a success. "Hey, I'm kind of… gross. Can I take a bath?" Klaus asked, and he looked over to probably Ben. "What? Yes of course I mean it, weirdo. His bathtub is _huge."_

"Absolutely. There might still be some old bubble bath in the cabinet."

Klaus cheered excitedly, grabbing the bottle of wine and skipping off to the bathroom.

Julian wasn't happy about the drinking, but if it kept Klaus here he would let him for now. 

Devon padded back into the living room, so Julian sat him down.

"Klaus and I dated for a while, almost two years. We broke up mutually, we just… fell out of love with each other, I guess. But he's a friend of mine still, and I hope you can understand that I still care for him." Julian said, taking Devon's hand. He knew they'd only been dating for a couple of months, but he wanted to be open with him.

Devon nodded slowly. "Ok, I understand that… And it doesn't bother me!" He added hastily, squeezing his hand. "I just… I mean he's… _famous._ " Devon said, as if trying to see how the word felt, unsure if it was the one he wanted. "At least a little! I heard there was a book, I was going to ask-"

"Don't… I'm positive the book is a huge reason he relapsed. If you want to read it you can, of course. I wouldn't stop you… Just please don't mention it to him, at least not unless he brings it up himself."

Devon nodded, then said "Maybe I should just go."

Julian wasn't sure how to take that. They hadn't been together long, but he'd hate for jt to end so awkwardly. "If you feel uncomfortable staying I understand. I can call you in the morning?" Julian asked.

"Of course." Devon agreed, kissing his cheek, easing some tension he was feeling. 

"Ok, give me a minute and I'll see you out."

\--

\--

The bathroom was full with a thick, heavy steam by the time Klaus finally lowered himself into the tub. He felt his body relax, although he hadn't realized he wasn't before. 

Klaus leaned his head back and closed his eyes, soaking in the warmth of the water. 

He was thankful that Ben had decided to give him some time alone, and Klaus was able to just enjoy sitting in the tub, cradling the bottle of wine he'd brought in with him.

"Shit." He mumbled, taking a long sip trying to chase away the thoughts of his failure. He shouldn't be surprised, really, but it still bothered him. 

A lot.

Klaus' eyes stung and he tried to wipe at them, succeeding in only sloshing wine over his hand. He let the bottle fall from his hand, letting it clatter to the tile floor before sinking deeper into the water. 

He closed his eyes enjoying the faint thudding from his heart echoing around him. He focused on it, keeping himself underwater, letting his body relax.

Then there was a loud screeching, and cries of _'help me, Klaus'_ and Klaus felt panic clawing up his throat. His lungs burned and he struggled to break the surface of the water. 

He gasped loudly, trying to find the source of the noise, but he couldn't hear or see anything. He reached a shaky hand toward the fallen bottle, but it was empty, its contents puddling on the floor and soaking into the bath mat. 

He jumped, sending water sloshing over the tub at the sound of the door knocking. 

"It's me, I have some clothes and towels for you if you want." Julian' muffled voice said through the door. 

"Come in." Klaus groaned, ducking his head under the water again.

Julian placed the clothes in the sink, and eyed the fallen bottle and the water and wine that was covering the floor, creating pink puddles. 

"It fell. Sorry." Klaus said through the water. 

"That's alright, just glad the glass didn't break." Julian said, grabbing a hand towel to soak up some of the liquid. "Take your time, just remember to not let the water get too cold."

Klaus nodded, waving Julian away. 

He decided to let the water drain, shivering as he wrapped a towel around his hair, and dried the rest of himself off with the extra.

He was so glad for the warm sweater and sweatpants Julian provided, and put them on. 

He nearly cried when he saw a pair of socks that had fallen on the floor, and Klaus was quick to put them on, wriggling his toes in the soft fabric.

He came into the living room and saw The Boyfriend and Julian whispering by the door.

Klaus knew it was stupid, somewhere past the clouds fogging his mind, but it hurt to see Julian with someone else right now. 

His eyes wandered, trying to find something to say, or do, but his mind was rebelling against him. "I uh… I can go. I didn't-" he waved his hand vaguely at the two of them.

"No, please stay, it's fine." The Boyfriend said. "I was already planning on leaving anyway. It was really nice meeting you." The Boyfriend held a hand out and Klaus moved robotically to shake it. 

"You too." He said rather numbly.

Klaus didn't think it was a good idea. He was just going to feel worse, and there wasn't anything to make him feel better.

He scratched at his neck, and tried not to let the thoughts that were trying to tell him he wasn't supposed to be here from taking hold. 

"Do you want something warm to drink? You look cold."

Klaus nodded eagerly, shivering despite the warm clothes. In almost no time a warm mug was pressed into his hands. He didn't remember finishing it, or laying down on the couch with Julian's fingers running through his hair, but before long he was waking up to the sun shining in from the windows.

\--

\--

  
  


Patrick couldn't explain the immense relief he felt when Julian's boyfriend had called to say that they had Klaus. He was sure it was double for Allison, who insisted on going with him to pick Klaus up.

When he explained that Julian thought Klaus should just spend the night there, Allison conceded, despite desperately wanting to make sure he was ok.

He felt a little _bad_ about sneaking out to get Klaus without her the next morning, but he didn't want her to deal with the reporters still skulking around their house.

He also didn't know what state Klaus was in, before he snuck out he was beat up pretty bad, and he didn't want Allison to see him like that.

When he got to Julian's he was relieved that Klaus didn't seem to be any worse. Skinny, face sunken in, healing bruises, but not worse than the last time he saw him. 

"Thanks for taking him in, it's been rough." Patrick said, taking the coffee Julian offered him.

"Of course, I'm just glad he got here." 

"I'm sure Ben had something to do with it, so thank you." Patrick said, hoping Ben was there even with Klaus passed out the way he was.

Klaus began stirring, and Patrick moved a bit closer, wanting Klaus to have something familiar to wake up to.

When he finally managed to pry his eyes open, Patrick smiled at him. 

"Hey, Klaus." 

Klaus leaned his head back, squinting as if trying to focus on something. Probably him.

"Patrick?"

"Yeah, we've been looking for you, glad we finally found you."

Klaus nodded, but he looked confused, like he didn't understand what he was saying. "I fucked up." Klaus said, sounding very apologetic.

Patrick squeezed Klaus' hand gently, and Julian moved to rub Klaus' back.

"You didn't fuck up, ok? You just got a little lost. We'll get you help, ok?" Patrick said, squeezing his shoulder.

Klaus nodded slowly, still looking confused. "Allison, is she ok?"

"Tired, but she's fine, and the baby's fine."

Patrick had been worried about the extra stress. The doctor seemed to think everything was fine so far, and even recommended a few classes to help with it. 

Of course Allison still didn't want to leave the house, so it wasn't exactly that easy. 

Julian looked surprised "Oh, congratulations, that must he exciting." He said, giving them both a pleasant smile.

"Baby shouldn't see me…" Klaus muttered, and Patrick didn't really want the baby to see their uncle like this either.

"Well the baby isn't going to be here for another seven and a half months, you'll be alright by then." Patrick promised, rubbing his arm. 

Klaus nodded, though Patrick was positive he wasn't really registering what he was saying. 

It took a few minutes of coaching, but they finally managed to get Klaus into the car. He immediately folded himself into the backseat, and Julian put a spare blanket over him for the car ride.

"We'll keep you updated, we _really_ appreciate the help."

"Anytime, get there safe." Julian said, patting the car.

Patrick waved goodbye to him from out his window, and drove away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Maddie: Briefly mentioned before as basically being Klaus' second in command, and officially the captain of this ship until Klaus comes back.
> 
> Devon: A good boy who is just very curious.


End file.
